ADHD Child Hitting Parents? What To Do When Your Child Gets Violent

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is the most commonly diagnosed neurodevelopmental disorder in children. 

Children who have been diagnosed with ADHD tend to have symptoms of hyperactivity, inattentiveness, impulsivity, and difficulties with executive functioning. Although these are the most common ADHD symptoms, your child might also engage in hostile or angry behaviors. 

Anger and aggression in children with ADHD is typically a response to demands or challenges that are put on them. However, children and their parents can learn ways to manage and control these behaviors to live a happier and less stressful life!

This article will explore what anger and aggression will look like in a child with ADHD and various strategies for stopping your kid from hitting you. Keep reading to find out more!

If you believe that your child's behaviors are out of control and directed at people or property, seek help from your child's pediatrician or call 911 for an emergency if someone is in immediate danger. 

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Can a child with ADHD be aggressive?

While difficulties with focusing, hyperactivity, and impulsivity are common symptoms of someone who has ADHD, aggression tends to be one of the more serious challenges. Children who have been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder might also display angry and hostile behaviors. These aggressive behaviors can be directed at others, either verbally or physically. 

Children with ADHD tend to have difficulty with problem solving skills and emotional regulation to manage emotions effectively. Therefore, they might utilize physical aggression to solve their problems because they are unable to think about the consequences right away. This can include lashing out physically, by hitting or kicking other children or adults. Aggression can occur because children with ADHD lack the self-control to stop themselves from engaging in these aggressive behaviors.

Therefore, children with ADHD might need extra support or help to learn strategies for solving problems and regulating their emotions more effectively. 

Anger And Aggression

According to Russell A. Barley, PhD, author of "Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior," 45 to 85 percent of children who have been diagnosed with ADHD also develop Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). 

Oppositional defiant disorder is characterized as anger and constant contending with others, especially those who are authority figures or individuals who are in leadership roles within a child's life. Symptoms of ODD will generally appear before the age of 8 years old. 

ADHD and ODD

Symptoms of ODD typically appear in multiple settings, such as in the home and at school. However, these behaviors might occur more often in one setting than the other.

Signs of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) can include:

• Not following the rules
• Arguing, even about small things that are considered unimportant
• Being uncooperative on purpose
• An attitude that is negative and irritable, overall
• disobeying other authority figures

Researchers are still unsure what the connection is between ADHD and ODD, but some hypothesize that children who have ADHD have difficulty with controlling impulsive behaviors and regulating their emotions. 

Note: Try Joon to help manage your ADHD child's behavior. Joon is an app designed for ADHD kids that rewards kids in the game for tasks and good behavior in real life. Many parents have seen their ADHD child become more autonomous, motivated and disciplined. Try a 7-day free trial today.

Is hitting a symptom of ADHD?

Hitting or engaging in aggressive behavior can be a problem for any child, not just someone who has been diagnosed with ADHD. While throwing tantrums and hitting are not a symptom of ADHD in itself, it can be a result of the ADHD symptoms. 

For instance, a child with ADHD might have difficulty with impulse control and therefore, might hit or throw things when they become angry. The hitting or throwing is a result of the impulsivity and difficulty with regulating their emotions. 

When an ADHD child is constantly hitting siblings, defiant, and violent they might be considered for a diagnosis of ODD. In this case, it might be beneficial to consult with a clinical psychologist and develop a treatment plan for controlling defiant behavior.

How do I get my ADHD child to stop hitting?

For children with ADHD, they might struggle with impulsivity and therefore, engaging in tasks that are monotonous and boring to them can create a lot of frustration and tension within the home or at school. Parents come to realize that avoidance strategies utilized by children with ADHD tend to involve tantrums, throwing things, hitting or screaming, and power struggles. 

When children engage in constant negative interactions over chores or tasks that they do not want to do, discipline strategies that work for other kids might not work with children with ADHD. However, there are strategies that are proven effective for limiting negative interactions and promoting positive ones with your child, especially when it comes to chore time. 

Try Joon

Joon is a video game that makes routines and to-do's fun for children (ages 6-12). Joon motivates your child to focus and stay on top of their tasks with a game that turns to do's into actual fun!

How does it work? Parents assign tasks as "quests" and the game will do the rest. Your child will choose a virtual pet that they will take care of by completing the tasks assigned to them. To help your child stick to their routine, Joon will send relevant and timely reminders to help them stay on track. That means, no more nagging from mom or dad and no more arguing to get tasks done! 

With continued use of Joon, children will learn skills for improving impulsivity, focus, and attention. They will begin to naturally start building habits within their days, all while playing a fun game!

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Reward Systems

Reward systems for children with ADHD are an effective strategy for diminishing unwanted behaviors and promoting positive ones. While disciplining a child with ADHD can be challenging, implementing a reward system can help teach children the skills necessary for impulse control, task imitation and follow through, and focus and motivation. As a parent, you might be wondering, where do I start?

Identify Target Behaviors

The first step in diminishing unwanted behaviors like hitting themself or others, screaming, and defiance, is identifying the behaviors that you want to see more of. Identifying these behaviors should be clear, concrete, and measurable. 

For example, if you want to see your child share their toys with their younger sister, rather than hitting her each time she tries to take a toy, it might be helpful to say "if you share your toy with your sister," you might say they will receive a specific reward for the desired behavior. This shows your child that they will receive a reward for engaging in appropriate behavior and will, in turn, diminish the negative behaviors.

Identify Effective Rewards 

Choosing the right rewards for your child matters and this will differ from person to person. What one kid is motivated by might be different than what other kids are motivated with. Some children enjoy video games while others enjoy playing outside. Keeping this in mind when choosing rewards is crucial for the system to work. 

It is important to note a few things when identifying effective rewards:

• Provide the reward immediately after the child engages in the positive behavior. Delaying a reward for too long is not an effective strategy when utilizing a reward system.
• Continue to provide positive reinforcement and praise when your child engages in appropriate behaviors. 
• Choose rewards that are tailored towards your child's interests. 
• Choose rewards that are novel and special to your child. This will provide your child with the motivation needed to fully engage in a reward system strategy. 
• Do not choose rewards that you are unable to fulfill or follow through with. 

Enforce the Plan and Be Consistent

As a parent, it is important to stay consistent with the reward system in order for it to be an effective strategy for promoting positive behaviors. Rather than consistently instilling consequences for unwanted behaviors, like hitting, it is also equally as important to praise your child for good behaviors. 

Reward systems are proven helpful for learning, discipline, behavior change, and motivation in children with ADHD. This is because rewards release a neurotransmitter known as dopamine, or the "feel good" hormone in the brain. Children with ADHD are motivated by the release of dopamine in the brain due to the differences seen in those who live with ADHD. 

Being a parent of a child with ADHD can be challenging at times and maybe even a bit stressful. If oppositional behaviors are becoming problematic or violence has become a real issue, be sure to seek professional help or talk with your child's pediatrician. They may suggest medication, parent training, or behavior therapy to help your child manage ADHD symptoms. With support from your child's doctor or psychologist, you can begin to make changes and help you and your family live a more fulfilling life.