How To Engage And Support Shy Students: 9 Tips For Parents And Educators

If you're the parent or teacher of a shy child, you may have questions about why that is and what to do. Especially if you yourself are more outgoing, you may need to learn how to best navigate working with and supporting shy children.

Even though there's positive intent behind it most of the time, some adults accidentally make things worse for shy children by labeling or pushing them. So, what can you do?

In this article, we'll discuss possible causes of shyness, ways parents and teachers can help encourage and support shy students, and how Joon can help.

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Why Are Some Students Shy?

Shyness often refers to someone who appears timid to others; a shy student may speak softly, avoid class participation, or prefer doing things either alone or with small groups. However, there are many potential reasons why a student might be shy.

Possible causes of shyness can include but aren't limited to the following:

• Low confidence or self-esteem. Some children are shy because they do not feel confident in themselves, which can impact their ability to engage in the classroom.
• Anxiety disorders or other disorders. Shyness doesn't always indicate a diagnosable mental health condition, but it could be related to an anxiety disorder or another medical condition in some cases. If you suspect this and are concerned, you may speak with your child’s pediatrician or a pediatric mental health professional.
• Feeling different from their peers. Some children are shy due to real or perceived differences between themselves and their peers; they may not know how to connect with classmates as a result.
• Introversion. In some cases, a child who is perceived as shy by others might actually be introverted, with a preference for spending more time alone than others.

Teaching always requires an understanding that every child is different. Being shy is not a bad thing, and there are ways educators and parents can work together to support a shy student.

Supporting and Engaging Shy Students

The best strategies for supporting shy students emphasize this one rule: Don't try to change them. Often, parent-teacher collaboration is the first step, and it's an important one when it comes to any situation where you want to support a child's learning and success. Parents can advocate for shy students once they know what to do, and educators can make the classroom environment positive by treating kids as the unique people they are. Use these helpful tips and ideas to support shy students and help them thrive.

Try Joon To Help Your Child Succeed

Joon is a to-do app and game for children ages 6-12+. How can Joon help with shyness? Joon functions as a reward system for children and can help kids complete any tasks or habits that are relevant to them. Furthermore, Joon can inspire confidence and independence in kids, which can be beneficial if your child is shy.

Here's how it works:

Parents start by installing the Joon Parent app and creating a to-do list for their children. You can include any routines or responsibilities you want, such as school projects, chores, after-school activities, or something else. Kids connect with a separate app called Joon Pet Game. Once parents approve a child's tasks, they get rewards in Joon Pet Game that allow them to move forward and care for a virtual pet called a Doter.

90% of children who use Joon finish all of their tasks. The app is rated an average of 4.7 out of 5 stars in the App Store, with over 4k reviews.

Click here to try Joon for free.

Give them responsibility

An excellent, healthy, and respectful way to encourage student participation in shy children is to give them responsibility in the classroom. Giving shyer students a simple responsibility like an assigned job in the classroom (e.g., passing out papers, making sure that electronics and pencils are stored at the end of the day) can inspire confidence profoundly. You might be surprised to see how much a child thrives with a classroom job they enjoy.

Try non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication (such as writing down the answer to a question rather than speaking in front of the class) can be valuable for shy children. Especially if a child has selective mutism or another condition, non-verbal communication can work wonders. 

Don't be afraid that you are "setting a child back" by not forcing them to speak; removing these daunting expectations can make a child feel more confident, heard, and understood.

Offer light opportunities for student participation

Less intimidating social situations can make shy children more comfortable speaking and making connections with their classmates. For example, you might put kids in small groups for group discussions and assign them to discuss a topic with one another. That way, kids don't need to talk in front of the entire class but can build community and practice social skills.

Allow them to move at their pace

Let kids move at their own pace when involved with other kids. Some parents find it helpful to have a conversation with their child to gauge social interest. At times, kids who are shy will want help to reach out to and to befriend other children. Other kids may not be interested. If you try time and time again to make a child more social and the child seriously doesn't want to engage, it is usually reasonable to step back.

Know their triggers

A teacher or parent can support shy kids by learning their triggers. Once you know what those triggers are, take care in situations where they might arise. Maybe, a child seems to freeze up or feels sick when asked to read aloud, for example. This can be particularly crucial for children with social anxiety or related disorders. If there's intense distress, having a conversation with a child and working to find accommodations can be powerful and help children feel safe.

Don't force them into situations

While more opportunities to make friends or contribute in the classroom can be a good idea if they are navigated carefully and aren't too intimidating, don't force shy students into situations that make them uncomfortable. Avoid putting children in a situation that will cause serious discomfort, even if it doesn't seem like a big deal to you or your intuition is to push them. Many shy students find that being pushed too hard feels like torture - they might even begin to dread school because of it.

Focus on their strengths

Encouraging a child's strengths makes them feel good about themselves and might even make it easier for kids to participate in some activities. Perhaps, a shy student is empathetic, loves to create art, is eager to learn about science, or shows a comprehensive understanding of a particular topic. Teachers and parents can help by praising all students, including shy students, for their individual strengths.

Avoid labels

Again, being shy isn't a bad thing. Still, at the end of the day, it's essential to avoid labeling children. When children hear something about themselves, they often start to believe it. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and may even heighten some challenges.

If you're a teacher, when you're tempted to tell a parent that a student is shy, you might detail the specific experiences you notice instead. For example, "Alex didn't talk to other students today; he did a great job on his English assignment."

Some kids grow out of their shyness naturally as they age. While this is not always the case, it is ideal that kids can define who they are for themselves. That way, they can feel supported and grow - whatever that means for them!