A Guide On How To Help Your Child With ADHD Make Friends

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) affects all areas of life, including social relationships. Difficulty making and keeping friends can impact a child's self-worth, general mental health, and quality of life. For some kids, it can make school harder. There are a variety of potential reasons why kids with ADHD tend to struggle more than others when it comes to peer relationships. If any of this sounds familiar, it is possible to help your child.

First, we'll talk about what might contribute to trouble making friends for kids with ADHD. Then, we'll discuss ways to help your child with ADHD make friends, such as setting up play dates, involving your child in group activities, and helping kids brush up on social skills.

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What Causes Trouble Making Friends?

Various studies on peer functioning and friendship in children with ADHD show that children with ADHD are more likely to face social problems, including trouble making friends and unstable friendships. But why? Reasons children with ADHD might face trouble making friends include but aren't limited to:

• Missing social cues. Some children miss social cues, believing an interaction went well when it did not, or making unintentional mistakes and feeling ashamed later.
• Impulsive behavior. Impulsivity or disruptive behavior at school could affect other children's perceptions of the child, or it may affect the friendship directly if the other child does not understand.
• Interrupting others. ADHD symptoms such as interrupting others without meaning to and forgetfulness can interfere with friendships.

These are just some potential factors. Difficulties with personal space, trouble with flexible thinking, and challenges with emotional regulation skills can also play a role. So, what can you do?

How To Help Your Child With ADHD Make Friends

If a child has strong social desire but encounters persistent trouble making friends, it can be heartbreaking and hard for parents to watch. Social isolation and loneliness can contribute to feelings of depression and other difficulties for children and adults alike. However, parents can promote positive peer relationships and help their kids make good friends. Here are some tips for parents to try.

Try Group Sports Or Activities

Sometimes, what matters most is that your child connects with others so that they have a natural way to practice interacting with other kids. Group activities provide a wonderful opportunity for children with ADHD to make friends, learn about teamwork, and brush up on social skills. For many kids, group activities like sports can also be a healthy outlet, aiding self-esteem and general well-being. When you pick an activity for your child, you want to ensure it's something they have a sincere interest in. Ideally, you don't want to force a child to do or continue to do something they hate.

Connect Your Child With Those Who Have Shared Interests

Connect your child with other kids who have a shared interest to help them meet others. Focus on what activity you think will work for your unique child if it's made more social. Do they like sports? What about science and art? Are there after school activities in your area for kids with those interests? If so, try it out. If a child's nervous, talk with them in advance, giving them an open space to express fears and find solutions.

Connect With Your Child's Teacher(s)

What if social troubles are primarily affecting your child at school? If that's the case, it could be time to talk with your child's teachers. A child's teacher can have a major impact on how other kids at school view them. If a child's teacher is aware of social challenges such as bullying, trouble making friends, or something else, they can step in. This might look like a teacher taking special care to connect children with another child in the class who might get along with them well, interfering with bullying, or extending positive regard to your child in front of other kids. In some circumstances, children with ADHD get marked as the "bad kid," and teachers can help mitigate that.

Observe How Your Child Treats Other Kids

Let's say that you're not sure why your child has trouble making friends. When kids struggle socially but want to interact with other children and try to form friendships, they may be confused. Observing how your child interacts with other children can help you determine what's affecting their ability to make friends.

Let's say that your child is on a sports team or takes group music lessons. You might attend a practice or rehearsal and watch how your child treats other kids from the sidelines. If you notice a skill they could benefit from brushing up on, like taking turns, you can spend time role-playing and work on that skill at home.

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Encourage Good Social Skills

Sometimes, kids with ADHD have social skills, but they don't remember to execute them. This is where practice in the home makes a huge difference for children with ADHD. To help kids learn and internalize skills necessary in social situations, work on them continuously at home. To do this, you may:

• Gently redirect your child or provide reminders when they slip up. For example, if your child interrupts often and slips up at home, you can use that moment as a teaching moment.
• Practice. Again, role-playing is a great way for parents to boost social skills in their child with ADHD. A parent might role-play back-and-forth conversations with a child, help their child practice approaching other kids respectfully when they see someone they want to befriend, and so on.
• Talk to your child about what it means to be a good friend. Discussions about friendship and what makes someone a good friend can be valuable. Children's books and TV shows that talk about friendship are terrific teaching tools for younger kids.

Set Up Play Dates

Setting up play dates with other children is an excellent way to help younger children with ADHD make friends. If your child is school-aged, find out if there's another child at school they enjoy being around or want to befriend. Then, talk to the other child's parents and see if you can set up a play date. Alternatively, you can meet other parents in your area and set up playdates that way.

Talk to Your Child About Their Social Desires

It is critical to talk with your child to gauge their level of social desire. Is this a child who has cried about not being invited to a birthday party or other difficulties with forming friendships, or is this a child who shows little interest in other kids?

Some kids take more time than others to increase social activity and interest. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't focus on social skills, as these are necessary and social skills help children in all areas of life. Instead, it is important that parents don't worry too much or push a child. Continue teaching social skills so that a child has them when they're ready, but take care not to make them feel bad or pressured to be something they aren't.

Consider your child's age. In later middle school or high school years, parents might need to change their approach. Continue to talk and ask about peer relationships, letting them know that middle and high school years can be tough and that you are here to listen without judgment. Take care to let kids navigate their own relationships once they're older, for the most part, unless they express distress or ask for help.

Remember that healthy friendships are more important than popularity. If a child has one close friend or a small group, no matter where from, take pride in that. Friendships can be a matter of quality over quantity. Research shows that kids who seek out close friendships have better mental health outcomes than those who focus on broader peer acceptance.

Have Patience

Again, for many children, it is a matter of time. Be patient as you teach your child helpful social skills and strategies, remembering that it can take extensive time and practice for a child with ADHD to really internalize those skills. Some kids who struggle with making friends in childhood go on to work very well with others later on. Promote kindness and fairness in your child, and continue to discuss ways to navigate social situations.

Teach Acceptance

If your child feels like an outcast, take extra time to teach acceptance and approach differences as a positive thing in your home. Both acceptance of others and acceptance of oneself matter and can help a child with confidence and happiness both now and later on. There are a ton of kids' books out there that can help you share this lesson.

Seek Professional Help

If a child is content, there's no need to push. What about children with ADHD who aren't happy or face more extreme social challenges, though? If your child with ADHD is distressed about social interactions or connecting with peers, it may be time to reach out for professional support. Talk with your child's doctor about what's going on and see what can be done. Clinicians can give parents individualized guidance to help their child and provide referrals to other professionals, like a clinical psychologist, social worker, or therapist, if needed.