Tips For How To Be More Patient With Your Child

Especially when it comes to parenting, it's essential to know how to exercise your patience. After all, kids learn from us and model our actions, including how we respond to emotions. Even the most patient person isn't perfect, and it's inevitable that we all lose our patience from time to time. However, it is something we can work on.

So, what can you do if you want to use more patience with your kids? In this article, we'll go over tips for being a more patient parent, such as observing how you respond to your child's behavior, learning your triggers, and apologizing when you slip up.

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How To Be A More Patient Parent

Being patient with kids can be a virtue. With it in mind that no one is perfect, here are some tips to help you cultivate patience as a parent.

Observe How You Respond To Your Child's Behavior

Paying attention to how you respond to your child when you feel frustrated can be helpful. That way, you can take a moment to identify what you want to change (e.g., "I want to stop yelling") and how you'd prefer to react instead. Try to look at your responses objectively and without judgment, reminding yourself that you aren't a "bad" parent for losing your patience. Instead, it's a positive thing to want to modify your actions to help yourself and your kids.

Identify Your Triggers

If you've had a bad day, it might not be the right time to work on behavior with your child. When you start to observe the way you respond to your kids, take a moment to recognize what makes you more apt to lose patience. Some parents might lose their patience more easily late at night, early in the morning, or during a high-stress time, such as when you're running late to drop the kids off at school or when you and your partner have had an argument.

Notice Your Child's Triggers

Don't just look at your own triggers; work to understand why your child acts like they do. Kids may appear out of control or as though they're being defiant on purpose, but there's usually a reason. Look for patterns - are there times when your child is more subject to behavior problems, such as when they're tired? If so, just knowing what to expect might be helpful in staying calm. For some parents, especially those who struggle with patience more often, it can be beneficial to remember that you and your child are on the same team.

Set Yourself Up For Success

Once you take the time to acknowledge your and your child's triggers, develop a plan that sets your family up for success. For example, if mornings are rushed before school, you might build a bedtime routine that helps your kids get ready for the next day before they go to sleep.

Create A Plan

Again, there will be moments when you struggle to stay calm. With this in mind, it can be valuable to plan ahead and decide what you will do when you start to lose your patience. You can even write it down: For example, "When I feel frustrated, I will take a deep breath or step aside momentarily before I react."

Try Redirection

What if you find yourself having the same conversations with your kids over and over again? Let's say that you lose your patience when asking your child to complete a chore that you already asked them to do. If that's the case, it may be time to redirect yourself and take a new approach. You may need to provide clearer instructions to help your child listen, stand closer to your child when giving them directions, or something else. 

Apologize When You Slip Up

When it comes down to it, we all occasionally lose our patience. When you lose your patience, take it as an opportunity to act as a role model for your child. When kids see you apologize, they learn to do the same. You can also act as a role model by taking care of yourself and using skills that help you remain calm.

Take Care Of Yourself

Don't forget to take care of yourself. Remind yourself that self-care isn't selfish. When it comes to parenting, self-care is a way to set yourself up for success, and it tends to involve multiple components. Here are some boxes to check:

Tend to your body and mental health

Take inventory of your physical and mental health needs and whether or not they’re being met. You can probably agree that you're less likely to lose your patience when you're well-rested, avoid blood sugar crashes, and have moved your body. Do what you can to help yourself get enough sleep, eat regular meals, stay hydrated, and de-stress with physical activity. 

Spend time with your support system

It’s well-known that positive social ties promote well-being and longevity. Having friends, family members, and other adults (e.g., members of a support group) to enjoy quality time with and turn to during a tough moment matters. Some parents find virtual modes of support, like online support groups, helpful.

Make sure you have me-time

Especially if you have young kids, time alone may be more scarce, and parents have varying levels of access to it depending on factors such as whether you have the funds to cover a babysitter or have a family member who is able to watch the kids and so on. Take time for yourself when you can.

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Ask For Support

Your own emotions matter, too. If you find yourself losing your patience frequently, or if any other concerns in your house are raising your stress levels, seeking professional help can make a huge difference.

Alongside other advantages, therapy can help you:

• Respond differently. In therapy, you can talk about how to react more mindfully when you notice yourself losing your patience. This may be particularly relevant to those who have trouble with anger, though it can benefit anyone who loses patience with family.
• Reduce shame. If you experience shame around feeling impatient with your children, you aren't alone. Even so, it can be challenging to remember that at times. Therapy is a great place to reduce shame surrounding your thoughts or feelings and separate them from your actions.
• Take care of your physical and mental health. A therapist can help you build your coping skills and self-care plan.

Help Kids Self-Regulate

Children have big feelings, and they don't always know how to navigate them yet. When kids have the tools they need and parents care for both their and their child's mental health, it can make the entire house feel more harmonious. Teach your children how to cope with feelings of nervousness, frustration, or anger using coping skills such as deep breaths or taking a break.

Takeaway

There's no such thing as a perfect parent. We are all human and lose our patience at times, and it can be particularly hard when kids push our buttons. Use the tips in this article to help yourself remain patient with your kids, and take care to reach out for professional help if you need it.