How to Manage an ADHD Child Who Needs Constant Attention

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a common neurodevelopmental disorder. There are three types of ADHD, including primarily inattentive ADHD (previously, this type of ADHD was often diagnosed as attention deficit disorder or ADD), primarily hyperactive-impulsive ADHD, and combined type ADHD, which includes a combination of both significant hyperactive/impulsive and inattentive symptoms.

Kids with ADHD tend to need more stimulation than other people, which is one possible reason they may seem to need your attention 24/7 or close to it. A constant need for attention can also be an ADHD child's way of saying, "HELP! I don't know how to regulate my symptoms, focus, get comfortable, settle down, or express my feelings."

However, children with ADHD can learn to self-regulate, get adequate stimulation, and finish tasks more independently. This article will discuss how to manage an ADHD child who needs constant attention and ways to take care of yourself as the parent of a child who needs excessive attention.

Using Joon is an excellent way to support a child who needs more attention than others. Designed for kids with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Autism, and related disorders, Joon promotes independence in children. How does it work?

Parents sign up first with the Joon Parent App and make a task list for their child. Choose from over 500 pre-loaded tasks or add your own. When kids complete tasks, they get rewards in the Joon Pet Game that let them take care of a virtual pet and keep playing the game. 

Tasks can include positive behaviors, self-care and personal hygiene activities, or daily tasks, like homework and chores. 90% of kids who use Joon finish every task their parents assign.

Click here to try Joon for free.

Understanding ADHD

Understanding why your child does something is often the first step to addressing it effectively. Before we talk about management strategies, let's first discuss ADHD symptoms and common challenges among kids with the condition.

Characteristics of ADHD

Again, there are different types of ADHD. The type of ADHD your child has can determine the characteristics they experience. With that in mind, common traits seen in ADHD kids include but aren't limited to:

• Poor impulse control (may engage in impulsive behaviors, including those that are risky and put oneself and others in danger).
• Need for stimulation (via sound, interaction, movement, tactile objects like stim or fidget toys, etc).
• Hyperactivity (e.g., running around, trouble staying seated, or restlessness). 
• Making careless mistakes or difficulty following through with instructions.
• Misplacing items, like school supplies, necessary for important activities.
• Blurting out answers, interrupting, or "butting into" other's activities.
• Forgetfulness and problems with working memory. 
• Talking loudly or excessively. 
• Daydreaming.
• Distractibility. 

In some cases, such as those where a child doesn't know how to get their emotional needs met, they may turn to negative behaviors to get attention. Negative attention is better than no attention at all, and attention is a fundamental human need, even if requests for it seem particularly high. This is why "ignoring" a child's request for attention isn't always the answer. Explaining and setting clear boundaries is a better approach, among other skills we'll discuss. 

Common challenges faced by children with ADHD

In addition to ADHD symptoms themselves, some struggles tend to be prevalent in kids with ADHD that aren't necessarily outlined in an ADHD diagnosis. Kids who have ADHD and need more attention than others may be coping with challenges such as:

• Emotion regulation. some text
  • Frequently, kids with ADHD feel intense emotions and struggle with regulating their emotions. Whether sadness, nervousness, frustration, or anger, emotions can feel insurmountable and difficult to cope with for kids, teens, and adults with ADHD who haven't yet learned to identify and healthily cope with emotions in a way that works for their brains. This can be a process, but it is very possible for kids with intense emotions to learn emotion regulation skills.
• Co-occurring disorders. some text
  • Kids with ADHD may also have Autism, ODD, depression, bipolar disorder, or anxiety. If your child has a co-occurring mental health condition like anxiety, they might have a few select people they feel safe with. This is often true for kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), too. Especially if the issue is more so clinginess than constant attention, this could be the underlying cause. Kids with ASD and mental health conditions can increase independence with the right skills; Joon can be an incredibly helpful tool for these kids.
• Low self-esteem.some text
  • In addition to a possible co-occurring mental health condition, kids with ADHD may struggle with low self-esteem. Resources like Joon can help promote self-esteem in kids.

Aside from challenges with emotion regulation, co-occurring mental health conditions, and impulse control, kids with ADHD may struggle with making friends, personal space, and other things that make navigating a constant need for attention more difficult. The right strategies can help.

Strategies for Managing an ADHD Child

Often, parents of kids with ADHD need to use parenting strategies more specific to their child's needs or diagnosis. A mental health professional such as a clinical psychologist or therapist can help you brainstorm additional ideas, but here are some things to implement first.

Establishing routines and structure

Routines help kids learn what to expect. When you have daily, structured routines, kids can rely on the fact that certain things will happen at specific times. This can increase independence because kids feel confident in their understanding of what they need to do. Similarly, once kids get used to doing certain things on their own, they'll be more apt to continue doing so—even if it takes direction from parents at first.

Ensure that your expectations and routines are realistic for your child's age, developmental stage, and diagnosis. Consistency matters, so stay true to your word when implementing structure. Be firm, but be willing to explain "why" certain routines, including those that involve independent play, matter.

Providing frequent breaks and opportunities for movement

Add breaks and time for physical activity into your child's schedule. Even with medication, expecting kids with ADHD to focus on homework for 30 minutes may be too much; add frequent breaks so that they can recharge and have the stimulation they need to concentrate.

Using visual aids and timers

Timers can help kids understand how long they need to play or work on an activity alone. When introducing independent play to kids who need constant attention, start small (e.g., ten minutes) and use a visual aid, like a digital clock or timer, that tells them exactly when that time is up.

Implementing positive reinforcement and rewards

Verbal praise for successful independent play can be incredibly valuable. Positive attention for good behaviors encourages kids to continue using them and can help reduce negative behaviors. You might keep new toys and items ready in a space where your child won't find them to use as a reward for good behavior, including successful independent play. Kids with ADHD often seek novelty, but items don't have to be expensive to be exciting. The dollar store is a great place to look.

Joon is another great reward system for kids that takes the pressure off the parents.

Joon App

Joon promotes good behavior, independence, self-esteem, and task completion in kids. By giving children reminders, rewards, and clear expectations, the Joon app guides them to complete tasks or engage in activities independently. We add new in-app rewards frequently to keep your child's attention.

Communicating With the Child

Communication is essential. You must tell your child why independent play matters and what you expect. It's also vital that you show your child you understand what they want. If possible, this can also give you an opportunity to work together with your child and discover what works together.

Active listening

Use active listening skills with your child to show that you understand. Active listening involves skills like nodding and using reflective language. 

Listen attentively when your child tells you why they need or want your attention. When they're done talking, respond by confirming that you understood correctly. For example, you might say, "I hear that you're bored/frustrated/want me to be with you. Is that right?" 

Then, talk about why independent play matters at this time and what you expect. You can also let your child know when you can play with them (e.g., in ten minutes, when the clock hits 5:30). 

Setting clear expectations and boundaries

Make sure that all instructions are 100% clear. Using the example above, you can communicate to your child that they need to play independently until the clock says 5:30. This is where visual timers and clocks come into play!

Upon setting a boundary—for example, that your child does need to engage in independent play for an achievable amount of time, like ten minutes—tactics like brainstorming activities for independent play together can help. Your child might not know what to do if they're simply told to play alone; help them find a specific activity, like an educational game.

While kids need independent play, you can strike a balance by including them in certain activities, like making dinner. This is another circumstance where providing clear expectations regarding behavior (and consequences you can follow through with if needed) is important.

Using positive language and encouragement

Use positive language and encouragement while setting boundaries with your child. Alongside verbal praise and positive reinforcement, lead with statements like, "I want to play with you" or "I want to spend time with you," and let them know when that will happen when you communicate that you cannot play right now.

Seeking Support

Build a team. Counseling or therapy, education professionals, and other parents are critical resources for parents of kids who have trouble with impulsive behavior, independent play, and related challenges.

Working with teachers and school staff

Sometimes, kids who need 24/7 attention at home will have problems at school, whether it's trouble with focus or concentration, difficulty playing quietly, behavior problems, anxiety, or school refusal. Communicating with your child's teacher is important. That way, you can look for solutions together.

Consulting with mental health professionals

Working with a clinical psychologist, therapist, social worker, or related professional can help parents of kids who need constant attention find individualized solutions and strategies. They can give you advice suited to your circumstances, even if what you've tried up until this point to manage your stress or respond to a child's behavior and needs hasn't worked.

Look for a provider who specializes in your child's age group and, if applicable, conditions or concerns they experience, whether a mental health condition or ADHD. If your child doesn’t yet have adequate treatment for ADHD or a related mental health condition, this is something to consider.

Getting therapy or counseling for yourself can be helpful, too. Learning coping skills from a provider can help you sustain patience and support your mental and physical health as a parent.

Joining support groups for parents of children with ADHD

The Joon Parent Group on Facebook is an excellent free resource for parents of kids with ADHD and related disorders. When you meet other parents going through the same thing, you can offer each other emotional support, comfort, and even suggestions or provider recommendations.

Self-Care for Parents

Parents need ways to manage stress and take breaks. When your child struggles with impulsivity, behavior, or a need for constant attention, your patience might be lower, and your need for support might be higher. Here are some things you can do.

Managing stress and frustration

Coping skills are essential for all parents, but especially for those who have kids with ADHD or related disorders. If you have ADHD yourself, which is common since ADHD can be genetic, it can be particularly vital to find self-care routines that work for you and fit into your schedule as a parent. 

Taking breaks and seeking respite care

Creating a routine with respite care (e.g., daycare) involved allows parents to get breaks. Seeking a babysitter is another way. If your child experiences impulsive or disruptive behavior that makes solutions like traditional daycare or enrollment in activities tough, a local mental health professional may have suggestions for resources near you. For example, activities and groups designed for kids facing ADHD and similar concerns.

Prioritizing self-care and seeking support from friends and family

If you have friends or family members who can help with babysitting or scheduling playdates at alternating homes, it can be incredibly helpful. That way, you'll both get a break. Starting with short playdates is ideal for kids who have trouble with time away from home. 

Conclusion

Knowing what to do for an ADHD child who needs constant attention can be tough. You might lack personal space or feel like you're at the end of your rope, but there are solutions. Seeking professional help, ensuring that your child has adequate treatment for their diagnosis (e.g., parent training and medication for ADHD), and using parenting strategies for ADHD kids, like setting clear expectations and giving positive reinforcement for desired behavior, can help.

Parents must work to understand their child with ADHD or concurrent mental health conditions. Knowing why kids need constant attention can help you find effective solutions. Although remaining patient can be difficult when you're worn thin or have a child who struggles with behavior problems, you want to stay calm and consistent. Kids should understand why independent play is necessary, and they must have clear expectations regarding how long it will last and what they should do to fill that time. 

Be patient and forgiving of yourself, too, and remember that this isn't something you have to navigate on your own. Taking breaks, setting clear boundaries, ensuring that you have adequate support, and working through sticking points with a professional can make a difference.