How to Motivate a Child to Go to School

Many parents face a daily battle of getting their children out the door to school on time. However, for some families, it is much more than a child dragging their feet because they're tired or want to keep playing with toys or watching TV.

Some parents deal with a genuine power struggle of school refusal where a child or teen refuses to attend school. Children with ADHD are especially prone to school refusal if they don't feel supported at school or their home life lacks consistency.

If your child resists attending school, the best thing you can do is stay involved and solve the problem immediately. The longer the problem persists, the more difficult it will be, especially for older kids, to get them back into a consistent routine.

This article looks at reasons a child may refuse to attend school, how parents can motivate kids who don't want to go, and when to seek professional or outside help for school refusal.

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Why Doesn't My Child Want to Go to School?

Each child who refuses to attend school has individual motivators affecting their decisions, even if they don't fully understand them. So the critical factor is discovering why they refuse to go to school.

Children with ADHD who do not receive adequate support are more likely to receive poor grades, have behavioral problems, and lose interest in academic pursuits. In addition, children with ADHD struggle to focus, stay on task, and lack impulse control, making school feel like six to seven hours of torture.

If a child sees themselves as dumb, bad, or simply "can't do" school, they will begin to wonder what the point is of going to school.

Other reasons children may wish to avoid school are social challenges like bullying, feeling like they don't fit in, or failure to thrive in a traditional learning environment.

Before parents can find the right motivation to encourage their children, the most important thing they can do is discover their child's concerns regarding school.

How to Motivate a Child Who Refuses to Go to School

Once parents have discovered why their child is refusing to attend school, the next step is developing internal motivation through positive reinforcement. When children feel supported and heard, their learning and motivation improve.

Combined with positive reinforcement, parents must create a clear and consistent routine for school days. All kids, but young kids especially, thrive on consistency and routine, and a chaotic morning routine may contribute to a child's lack of motivation.

Create a consistent routine for school days

Consistency is key. Children need consistency to develop motivation, ease anxiety, and be at their best. When children know what to expect, they feel supported and confident and have a sense of security.

Each kid will have a unique set of needs, so to help your child get to school, you'll need to develop a morning routine that supports them.

Start by observing your child in the morning. Where are the hiccups occurring? Do they struggle to get out of bed? Are they being distracted by toys or electronics? Do they need help choosing clothes or getting dressed?

Once you notice the pieces getting in the way of their daily preparations, talk to them and problem-solve solutions together. If your child feels involved in the process, it provides a sense of autonomy and independence.

For example, you may decide it's best for your children to pick their clothes out the night before to have their school bags packed and by the door so there is less to do before school.

Each task of the routine should have a time associated with it. You can motivate them by checking off tasks as they're completed and praising positive behavior.

Once you've created a routine, put it in writing and post it somewhere they can see it, like the fridge or family board. For younger kids, add pictures.

The first few weeks may require a lot of reminders as you help your child develop a feel for the routine. But, over time, the hard work will pay off, and you'll spend less time nagging your kids and more time praising their behavior!

How Joon Can Help

Children who avoid going to school need motivation. Joon can motivate your child, promote independence, increase focus, and improve task completion through gamification and positive reinforcement!

Joon encourages kids with ADHD by motivating them to focus on the activity at hand and rewarding task completion. This process builds healthy habits and keeps kids motivated. Joon mitigates ADHD symptoms and can encourage your child to complete tasks like homework and getting ready for school.

Parents can add the specific tasks their child needs to focus on and can alter and change tasks as their kid develops through their individual learning process.

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Consider triggers

In addition to kids needing consistency, parents must also consider any triggers affecting their child's desire to attend school or complete school work. Encourage your child to express feelings about school or a class they struggle with.

If your child is anxious about a specific class, teacher, or homework assignment, they may shut down and avoid rather than focus on problem-solving.

Teachers and students are people too, and not all personalities mesh. Your child may feel a specific teacher isn't supporting them, or there may be other kids your child struggles to get along with in the classroom.

Lastly, if your child has ADHD and isn't supported by a 504 or IEP, the school or the teacher may not understand your child's behavior. Without that knowledge, the teacher cannot provide them with the proper educational support.

Create a reward system

Each person has a certain level of intrinsic motivation hard-wired into their personality. However, through external motivators like tangible rewards, praise, good grades, etc., people can develop further motivation to do things they don't want to, like going to school.

To promote extrinsic motivation, adults must follow their child's interests. Younger children may be motivated by extra TV time or a trip to the toy store. Whereas older kids may be motivated by money, time spent with friends, or access to extracurricular activities.

Creating a reward system for kids also teaches them about delayed gratification. They learn that they have to put in the hard work to receive the reward. And it will also teach them that when they work hard toward a goal, the reward often feels wonderful and is well worth the effort!

Use consequences as needed

As a parent, enacting positive reinforcement alongside consequences on our kids can be challenging. Of course, no parent wants to make their child upset or sad. However, without consequences, learning rarely happens. A consequence is a result of an action. And consequences can be positive and negative.

For example, if your child talks back to a teacher and refuses to do their work. The consequence may be a phone call to the parent and a poor grade. Conversely, if your child studies hard for an exam and asks their teacher for extra help, the consequence will likely be a good grade on the test.

If a child refuses to go to school and complete their assignments, the natural consequence is they will fail out of school. However, more than that alone is needed to encourage kids who have reached the point of school refusal.

These children cannot see the big picture that lack of education will cause them down the line. Nor can they see how their failure to attend school affects their family.

In addition to positive reinforcement, support from their teachers and for their learning, and rewards where applicable, kids need consequences when they fail to hold up their end of the bargain.

For example, if they refuse to get up and go to school, they don't get to go to their friend's house after school. If they watch TV instead of completing an assignment, they lose TV time for the following two afternoons. The critical factor is making the consequence relatable to the behavior and being consistent.

What to Do When a Child Refuses to Go to School

If your child is absolutely refusing to go to attend school, you will need to have an open dialogue with the school and their teachers and will need to engage professional help. When children refuse to attend school, and no rewards, consequences, or amount of consistency seems to help, parents must address the underlying condition.

Underlying conditions may be depression or anxiety disorder, undiagnosed or untreated ADHD, bullying, or other learning disabilities or roadblocks.

Consequently, the education of these children will be seriously impacted. When children fail to attend school, academic learning is not happening, and they miss the chance to learn essential life skills.

Communicate with your child's school

In addition to talking to children about why they don't want to go to school, adults must have open and honest discussions. Teachers and schools often have insight that can help explain why a child may resist school.

Teachers need an open dialogue with the school to change what's happening in their classrooms. It's easy for a parent to immediately blame the school or teachers for their child's learning problems. However, all stories have more than one side, and children, especially older children and teens, need to be held responsible for their own decisions.

Ask for help 

In addition to asking for help from the school, you may need to seek out a clinical psychologist for more in depth diagnoses and consider adding medication or therapy to your child's routine. Children who have outright begun to refuse to attend school have an underlying issue that adults must address.

If you need help figuring out where to start, talk to your pediatrician, school counselor, or principal. They can point you in the direction of a therapist who treats children or discuss what the next steps might be. For example, the school may suggest your child be evaluated for learning disabilities based on teacher observations or other behavioral indicators.

Do not feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help. By reaching out for assistance, you show your child and the school you are invested in their education and that you want to take the steps needed to get them back in school.