Signs Your Child Needs to Talk to a Therapist

Just like they get colds or broken bones, children sometimes go through mental or emotional hardships. When this happens, a child therapist can help you and your child figure out what’s going on and how your child can heal.

But many parents feel scared and overwhelmed when their ADHD child needs emotional help. You might wonder, “How can I tell whether this is normal or it’s serious?”

In this article, I’ll go through 6 signs that your child needs to talk to a therapist. Keep your eye out for them, use your best judgment, and don’t hesitate to take your child to a therapist if you think they need it.

How Do I Know If My Child Should See a Therapist?

Kids go to therapy for lots of different reasons. Some parents send their children to see a therapist because they see alarming changes in their behavior or mood. This can be scary for parents, and a mental health professional can help determine what’s going on. 

Other times, their family may be going through a big change, like a divorce. Or their child could have experienced a traumatic event. A therapist can provide kids with a safe place to express themselves and help them learn new skills to cope. 

Some children, especially older teens, may ask to see a therapist. Although it’s still there, mental health stigma is slowly fading – and teens may choose to see a therapist simply for deeper self-exploration, not because they have a mental health condition.

In other words, there are so many reasons why a child could benefit from seeing a therapist. What’s important to pay attention to as a parent are certain signs that could indicate that your child may be having some mental health challenges that require therapy; without treatment, these difficulties could get worse.

Here are some signs that could mean your child’s mental health is suffering and they need to see a therapist.

Changes in Sleep Patterns

To be clear, kids may naturally go through some changes in their sleep patterns as they develop. For example, most parents of teenagers have probably noticed that their kid seems to be sleeping a lot more than usual.

But unexplained changes in sleep patterns are sometimes a sign of an underlying mental health issue. Has your child started complaining about not being able to fall asleep at night? About nightmares? Do they stay asleep all day, even when it starts interfering with their daily responsibilities? 

Insomnia (not sleeping enough) and hypersomnia (sleeping too much) are symptoms of many different mental (and physical) health conditions, so if you notice this happening, it may be a good idea to bring your child to see a therapist.

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Increasingly Irritable

One of the core symptoms of depression is a sad or empty mood. What you may not know is that in youth, a depressed mood often presents as irritability or anger. Irritability could also be a sign of other conditions, like anxiety or ADHD.

It’s normal for kids to get snappy sometimes, especially while going through puberty. But if you notice that your child has suddenly become more irritable, then it could be a sign of an underlying mental health concern like depression.

Changes in Habits, Eating, and Hygiene

Pay attention to your child’s daily habits. If you notice any sudden, unexplainable changes, then it may be something worth talking to them about. 

Two habits to pay especially close attention to are their eating and hygiene habits. Has your child started eating much more, or much less, than usual? Have they suddenly gained or lost weight? This is a recognized symptom of depression.

A lack of hygiene can also be a cause for concern. Kids and teens going through mental health difficulties sometimes have a hard time with daily self-care, like showering. If your child has stopped taking care of themselves, then it’s worth it to ask them what’s going on.

Defiant Behaviors

Most kids are defiant sometimes; if you’re a parent, then you already know that no child listens to their parents 100% of the time. 

But constant defiance, especially when it’s combined with other symptoms like increased irritability or withdrawal, could be cause for concern. Defiance can be a symptom of certain childhood behavioral conditions like Oppositional Defiant Disorder. It could also be a sign that your child is feeling frustrated because they don’t understand your instructions. 

Whatever it is, a therapist can help you get to the bottom of it.

Social Isolation

Has your child recently become more and more withdrawn? This could be a sign of depression or anxiety. It could also be a sign that they’re being bullied or rejected at school, which is unfortunately a common experience for neurodivergent kids like those with ADHD or autism spectrum disorder.

Try not to confuse social isolation with pulling away from you, the parent. In the adolescent years, it’s normal (and healthy!) for kids to prefer to spend time with their peers than with their parents. It’s important, developmentally, for kids at this age to start forming their own identities outside of their relationships with their parents.

But if you notice that your teen is pulling away, not only from you but from their friends and everyone else in their lives, then this may be a sign that they need to see a therapist.

Talking About Self-Harm or Suicide

Any talk about self-harm, death, or suicide needs to be taken seriously – even if your child insists they were joking. 

Self-harm is a common mental health phenomenon that could be indicative of depression. Notice if your child is cutting, scratching, or biting themselves – or trying to hide that they are. For example, they may insist on wearing long sleeves even in hot weather. Self-harm or “cutting” doesn’t usually mean the child is suicidal, but it does mean they need mental health support.

Also, notice if your child seems to be obsessed with themes of death or suicide. This fascination could come out in the music they listen to or the TV series they watch. But your child may also make “passive” statements about suicide and death.

For example, they could say things like, “I wish I never had to wake up.” or, “The world would be a better place if I were gone.”

Even if they don’t directly state they’re feeling suicidal, take these sorts of comments very seriously and take your child to see a therapist.

If you think your child is having a mental health emergency and is at immediate risk of harming themselves or others, dial 9-8-8 or take them to your nearest emergency room.

How to Find a Therapist for Your Child

It can feel daunting when presented with the task of finding the right therapist for your child. A few places you can start looking include:

1. Your child’s pediatrician may be able to refer you to a mental health specialist they have worked with.
2. Your child’s school may also be able to give out referrals. If their school has a guidance counselor or mental health specialist, then this would be an excellent person to talk to.
3. There are many therapist directories online, including PsychologyToday and TherapyDen.
4. Your health insurance provider may have a list of in-network therapists who work with children.
5. Ask other parents for recommendations.

When you find a therapist, make sure you ask them about their experience working with kids of your child’s age. Ask them about what methods they use to treat children, and the interventions they think will be helpful for your child’s concerns. For example, if your child has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, find a child therapist who specializes in ADHD.

Keep in mind that, if you think your son or daughter might have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, then the therapist you choose may not be able to prescribe your child ADHD medication. Only practitioners with a medical license, like psychiatrists, are legally able to prescribe medication.

However, it can be challenging to find a psychiatrist who provides both medication and psychotherapy. If your child needs both, then it might be easiest to find two different practitioners.

Takeaway

Kids go through ups and downs; parenting isn’t supposed to be smooth sailing all the time, and that’s normal. But it can be scary when your child starts acting differently than before – what is just a normal bump in the road, and what is cause for concern?

The best judge of whether your child needs therapy is your gut instinct as a parent. If you feel like something’s wrong, then it’s better to be safe than sorry. Keeping an eye out for these signs can also help you figure out when it’s time to get your child professional help.