Understanding the Benefits of Authoritative Parenting: A Guide for Parents

Authoritative parenting is a heavily encouraged parenting style that focuses on building a close and nurturing relationship with your children. You can tell that someone is an authoritative parent if they set firm expectations and explain the reasons behind them, respond to their child's emotional needs, and encourage problem-solving or independent thought. Authoritative parents avoid harsh punishment but do use behavior management practices. 

Parents interact with or discipline kids in various ways. Authoritative parenting is just one example. Often, the way parents interact with their kids will fall into or closely relate to one of the following parenting styles:

• Authoritative parenting: Often called the ideal parenting style among experts, children are given rules, boundaries, and expectations that are clearly explained by parents. Authoritative parents listen to their child's point of view but won't always agree. They are warm, nurturing, and caring.
• Authoritarian parenting: High expectations and rigid rules without explanations. Children are expected to behave without question and receive harsh punishment if they don't. Parents offer little warmth or communication.
• Permissive parenting: Parents are emotionally warm and communicative but very lenient with few expectations regarding their child's behavior. 
• Uninvolved parenting: Also called neglectful parenting, uninvolved parents may fulfill the child's basic needs (food, water, shelter, etc) but are largely removed from their child's life otherwise.

Why is it important to understand different parenting styles? 

Research on different parenting styles shows how each might positively or negatively impact kids and families. For example, the ways each parenting style affects childhood behavior, long-term mental health, and even how kids go on to interact with other people in the world, such as their success and actions in the workplace later in life.

As a parent, you want your kids to succeed, so it's essential to understand the parenting styles or strategies that lead to success. It's also critical to know which practices can be harmful. Since every family is different, you want to ensure that you pick the right approach for your kids and can change things or blend strategies from different parenting styles if you have to. 

This article will focus on the benefits of the authoritative parenting style and how to implement it effectively.

Joon is a behavior management app for kids ages 6-12+. The Joon App uses positive parenting strategies and is backed by experts such as child psychologists, teachers, occupational therapists, and others. How does it work?

Parents sign up first with Joon Parent App and create a task list for their child. There are over 500 pre-loaded tasks, but you can also choose your own. When kids finish tasks, parents mark them complete, and kids get rewards that allow them to continue playing the game, take care of a virtual pet of their choice, and unlock new, frequently added features, like mini-games. 90% of kids who use Joon complete all of their tasks. Even better, many parents say that the app has helped them develop a stronger parent-child relationship.

Click here to try Joon for free.

Characteristics of Authoritative Parenting

Each parenting style is marked by specific traits. First, let's review the key features of an authoritative parenting style. Then, we'll discuss its benefits, tips for implementing its practices, and how to navigate possible challenges.

Clear expectations and rules

Rules should be explained to your child clearly. In addition to ensuring that rules and other expectations are clear, authoritative parents discuss the reasons behind them. For example, what appropriate behavior looks like in a situation and why it matters. Authoritative parents model respect for kids by explaining "why." Offering reminders as needed (especially for kids with ADHD, who might struggle with memory) and speaking in a calm voice can be integral. 

Open communication and support

Authoritative parents listen to the child's point of view and are able to validate it, even if they don't agree or let the child do what they want. Parents using an authoritative parenting style value what their child has to say and tend to their emotional needs. This could be part of why this parenting style can help support healthy relationships later on.

Consistent discipline

When authoritative parents say that they're going to do something, they follow through. In turn, kids can trust what their parents say. Following through with what you say you're going to do includes following through with discipline, as hard as it can be. 

People who use this parenting style create realistic consequences for bad behavior, explain consequences to the child, and remain consistent. Consequences aren't overly harsh, and positive reinforcement is often given for good behavior, whether in the form of verbal praise alone or alongside another reward.

Encouragement of independence and decision-making

Authoritative parenting asks, "What do you think?" and helps kids learn that they're capable. Parents collaborate with children and provide guidance while encouraging decision-making skills, problem-solving skills, and independent thought or autonomy. 

Benefits of Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting is a respectful parenting method associated with various positive outcomes in research. For example, greater life satisfaction and better mental health. Largely known for its balanced approach, here are some of the benefits of authoritative parenting vs. other more (e.g., authoritarian) or less strict (e.g., permissive) parenting styles. 

Positive impact on child's behavior

The American Psychological Association website states that children raised with an authoritative parenting style tend to be self-controlled, cooperative, and friendly, alongside other positive traits. Multiple research studies on parenting style have confirmed that these outcomes are more common in kids raised by authoritative parents.

Development of strong parent-child relationships

Since authoritative parenting emphasizes communication and consistency, authoritative parents tend to build trust with their kids. Research studies also show that a strong parent-child relationship is another beneficial outcome of authoritative parenting. Even better, evidence shows that a strong parent-child relationship can protect a child's well-being later on. 

Promotion of self-esteem and confidence

Traits of authoritative parenting, such as warmth, involvement, and demonstrating a supportive nature are associated with higher self-esteem in kids. Self-esteem matters because it can aid long-term life success, motivation, improved interpersonal relationships, and better physical and mental health.

Preparation for success in adulthood

While those who use other parenting styles don't always teach kids how to find solutions in daily life, authoritative parents do. The authoritative parenting style is associated with higher academic success, healthy relationships, better social skills, autonomy, and better mental health.

Tips for Implementing Authoritative Parenting

You can’t control every outcome for a child. For example, some kids may have mental health concerns, no matter how they’re raised. What you can do is support your child and help them succeed, even if they do experience some challenges. Here are some tips for implementing an authoritative parenting style with your children.

Setting boundaries and expectations

Setting reasonable expectations and boundaries differentiates authoritative parenting from parenting styles that are compassionate but lack guidance, as well as those that are overly strict. Authoritarian parents, for example, might be overly strict and without warmth; an uninvolved parent might give a child few-to-no limits, expectations, or boundaries. 

An authoritative parent, however, chooses age-appropriate boundaries and limits for their kids, such as the expectation that they will complete age-appropriate chores, treat others with kindness, and follow certain routines. A balance of compassionate guidance is the best approach.

Communicating effectively with your child

Communication is crucial. When you set expectations, make sure that your child understands them. Be specific and provide a reason for the expectations. If they refuse or disagree, you might say something like, "I hear that you don't want to because ___. I need you to ___ because ___." 

Those who want to help their kids get the benefits of an authoritative parenting style might brush up on active listening skills to aid communication with kids. If you face hurdles like stress or trouble staying calm, working with a therapist to get support for yourself may be beneficial.

Providing support and encouragement

You can't be an authoritative parent without warmth, support, and encouragement. When your child is struggling emotionally, responsiveness and empathy are key. Listen and validate the child's feelings (e.g., "That sounds painful.")

To promote appropriate behavior and reduce poor behavior, provide positive reinforcement for the behaviors you want to see. Give your child verbal praise for good behavior. Explain why negative behaviors aren't okay and allow for natural consequences.

Similarly, rather than take care of every stressful situation for your child or give them no responsibility, help them explore possible solutions, providing encouragement along the way. 

Actively work on problem-solving skills and compliment your child's effort along the way rather than the outcome. This is a great way to avoid overly high expectations, which could lead to mental health issues and other concerns while helping kids feel capable.

Consistently enforcing rules and consequences

When you set rules and consequences, it's essential that you follow through. Following through with your word is both about trust and consistency. When you're consistent, kids understand that the rules and consequences are serious; not something that they can change.

Again, this must be paired with effective communication so that the child understands "why." Kids may not always be happy with your reasoning or agree with it, but they should feel heard, respected, and receive an explanation for exactly why certain actions or behaviors matter and their impact. 

Challenges of Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting is widely known as the best parenting style for child development and psychological health. However, there can be some challenges, and all kids are different. Some children may benefit from elements from other parenting styles or other adjustments made to their life at home or the mental health and behavior management strategies used.

Balancing warmth and discipline

Even if you understand the value of combined warmth and discipline, it can be a tough balance to strike for some parents. Some parents have a difficult time disciplining their kids. To mitigate this, put extra effort into deciding what a child's consequences for poor behavior would be before you communicate them. Specifically, make sure that it's something you can follow through with. For example, natural consequences paired with an explanation of why they occur tend to be ideal for kids.

Handling conflicts and disagreements

All parents get stressed out. Conflicts and disagreements can be high-stress in and of themselves, and on a tough day, they can be particularly difficult to handle. Authoritative parents should model good and respectful behavior for kids. One way to do that is to practice listening to your child and keeping your voice calm, even when you disagree.

Dealing with outside influences and pressures

If your family is like many others, you'll find that quite a few people have input regarding how they think you should parent your kids. When you encounter people who prefer different styles, they may feel strongly about their stance. Maybe, you even have family members who watch your kids often but have different ideas regarding how to discipline kids, the expectations they should stick to, or how to talk to your kids. 

This can be challenging, and while it isn't always possible to control the people around you, what you can do is remain consistent with your child. Continue to provide reasoning for why certain expectations matter, even if others don't. 

Alternative parenting styles to consider

While all kids need a combination of warmth and guidance from their parents, some adjustments might need to be made along the way for several reasons. Other parenting styles or practices are also worth considering in this instance. For example, gentle parenting is largely considered a type of authoritative parenting and has gained popularity in recent years.

The main goal of gentle parenting is usually to avoid the negative outcomes and harshness associated with authoritarian parents. Gentle parenting isn't the same as having permissive parents by any means; gentle parenting can very well include all of the same practices as authoritative parenting but may place a greater emphasis on the importance of tending to a child's emotional needs.

Generally speaking, even if parents have slightly different styles, they'll want to avoid other well-known approaches, such as authoritarian parenting or uninvolved (neglectful) parenting. 

Conclusion

Experts sometimes call authoritative parenting the best parenting style. It is a respectful parenting style with multiple research-backed benefits. Parents tend to adopt authoritative parenting because it supports good behavior, better mental health, self-esteem, and problem-solving skills in kids. Other approaches, like gentle parenting, can complement authoritative parenting styles. Every child has different needs, so flexibility and curiosity can be important for parents. Talking with a parenting expert, such as a child psychologist, can be helpful for parents who need additional information, support, or individualized advice.

Joon promotes positive behavior in kids and acts as a reward system for children. Designed for kids with ADHD and related disorders, any family can use and benefit from The Joon App. The Joon App aids self esteem, independence, and follow-through in kids.

Try Joon today, or contact us with any questions you have about the app. We’re here for you!