ADHD And Bullying: How to Help Children Avoid This Bad Behavior

Neurotypical children are often the targets of bullying behavior. These children become bully victims because they stand out socially, may appear awkward or different to other kids, and often lack the language and emotional skills to stand up for themselves where targeted.

The combo of ADHD and bullying is a serious problem. It creates low self-esteem, makes children afraid to go to school, and can create serious problems socially, emotionally, and academically for a child. However, there are things parents and schools can do to avoid and stop bullying behavior toward kids with ADHD.

This article covers why children with ADHD and bullying often go hand-in-hand, why many kids with ADHD become bullying victims, and what adults can do to prevent and stop bullying. We also cover the steps kids with ADHD can take to avoid and stop bullies.

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Causes of Bullying Behavior Towards Children with ADHD

A Child's ADHD often makes them stand out from other children. ADHD children display impulsive behaviors, miss important social cues, and struggle to concentrate in class. These behaviors can draw negative attention to the child in school.

A child who has already been singled out by the teacher as a problem child is more likely to receive negative attention from other children. However, even kids with ADHD with excellent teachers who are patient and loving may be seen as different by their classmates, making them a victim of bullying or teasing.

Differences in Social Skills

A difference in social skills is one of the primary reasons children with ADHD are prone to both sides of bullying. Many symptoms of ADHD cause behaviors that increase the possibility of social rejection.

ADHD Symptoms

• Clumsiness
• Impulsive remarks or actions
• Overly affection or hands-on
• Poor understanding of personal space
• Inability to read and appropriately respond to social cues like body language
• Difficulty listening or engaging in conversations
• Blurting out inappropriate remarks

Can ADHD cause disrespectful behavior?

While children with ADHD are at greater risk of bullying than other kids, they are also more likely to be the bully. A recent study showed that ADHD children in middle through high school were 8.17 times more likely to be a bully than neurotypical peers and 3.7 times more likely to be a victim of bullying. Most interestingly, kids with ADHD were 17.71 times more likely to identify as both a bully and a victim of bullying.

ADHD often results in aggressive, impulsive, and seemingly disrespectful behavior. Adults sometimes see a child's ill-chosen remarks as disrespectful or teasing.

While teachers must address disrespectful remarks and inappropriate behavior, school personnel needs to beware of any underlying issues, such as your child's ADHD, to help them understand and best correct your child's behavior.

ADHD aggression

ADHD may result in rash and aggressive responses to bullies or other kids when a child feels teased or threatened. Of course, violence should never be condoned; however, if your child with ADHD engages in an aggressive behavior and impulsive retort to a bully, both sides of the situation must be addressed.

Because kids with ADHD may respond aggressively when upset, they may be seen as bullies even if that is not their intention. Therefore, it is important to help a child understand their emotions and the appropriate way to respond to bullies, teasing, or other upsetting situations.

Secondary behavioral issues 

Children with ADHD have additional behavioral issues or mental conditions that may affect their social life and make them prone to bullying.

Defiance

Kids with ADHD tend to be more defiant than other children and may also suffer from an additional condition called ODD or Oppositional Defiance Disorder. ODD makes a child more likely to push back verbally and possibly physically against adults in authority, like their teacher and school principal.

Depression

Some kids with ADHD also experience depression. Depression in children often goes undiagnosed became many parents aren't aware of the signs. Sometimes depression in children comes across as anger or acting out, which could result in them bullying other kids.

Anxiety

Many children with ADHD struggle with anxiety. Or they may develop anxiety due to poor academic and classroom performance or bullying and go to school feeling afraid each day. Unfortunately, these children are also less likely to speak up about their feelings making kids with anxiety and ADHD easy targets for bullies.

Steps to Help Children with ADHD Avoid Bullying Behaviors

If your child is a victim of a bully's behavior or you are the bully's parents, there are things you can do to help your child understand what bullying is and why it has to stop.

Educate the Child  

As with most things, when a person becomes educated on a topic, their understanding increases, and stereotypes, prejudices, and negative behaviors associated with the topic decrease.

Whether your child is the bully, the victim, or both, bring bullying to the forefront by talking about it. Explain the difference between being bullied and teased. Bullying is done to hurt someone's feelings while teasing is a goodwill social interaction between friends. Correctly identifying what bullying looks like is an essential step in stopping it.

Parents should also help their children understand how different bullies work. For example, boys are more likely to use mean words, loudly tease one another, and may even become physical and aggressive. However, boys tend to resolve issues quickly.

Conversely, girls are likelier to use a quieter voice to taunt or tease. In addition, girls tend to exclude others and hold grudges much longer than boys.

Children should also be similarly informed about ADHD or other factors that make them unique. There is nothing wrong with differences, yet most parents shy away from talking to their children about what their ADHD means.

Teaching your child about ADHD and discussing their strengths builds their self-esteem and puts them in the best position mentally to handle bullies.

Teach Coping Strategies

If your child is involved with bullying, teach them coping strategies to manage their ADHD symptoms through behavioral interventions and medication. In addition, your child may benefit from a social coach or therapist that can help them improve their interaction with others at school and on the social scene.

Encourage Positive Social Interactions

Positive social interactions will also increase your child's self-esteem and provide them the confidence and tools needed to function socially at school and among peers.

Create positive opportunities for your child to be involved in sports, dance class, music, theater, or other social activities with peers.

Talk to the School

Your child's school should be the front line to stop bullying when it's happening. If bullying occurs, the teacher or the principal should address the entire class without signaling-out individual children. Many teachers already include anti-bullying lessons throughout the school year as part of the curriculum.

If your child is being bullied, gently question your child on the specifics, and follow up with the school as soon as possible, providing as much detail as possible.

Conclusion

ADHD and bullying may often go together, but by working with your child and other adults at their school and in your community, you can work to reduce the number of children being bullied.

Talking with your child and their school is essential in reducing the connection between ADHD and bullying. Parents must prepare their children with what bullying looks like, why it is not OK to be the bully or be bullied and let them know it is OK to tell an adult.

Parents should also talk with their kids about their ADHD symptoms, teach them coping mechanisms and consider other tactics like a social coach or medication to help their child reduce the risk of being bullied.

Being the parent of a bullied child is never easy, but staying attuned to your child's behaviors, actions, and symptoms can help reduce the connection between ADHD and bullying.