ADHD And School Avoidance: Understanding The Refusal For Your Child To Go

What can you do if your child refuses to go to school? If you're asking this question, you aren't alone. It's a common battle for parents of kids with ADHD and related disorders, but the good news is that there are ways for parents to help. In this article, I will first discuss common causes of school avoidance in kids with ADHD. Then, I will go over how to help with your child's school avoidance through communication with your child, talking with the school, and working to make the transition from home to school easier. 

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Reasons for School Avoidance for Kids with ADHD

School avoidance isn't simply "bad behavior." Often, there are underlying reasons for school avoidance in kids with ADHD. If your child avoids or refuses to go to school, it could be due to:

• Not doing well in school. It can be frustrating to struggle in school, and feelings of shame are common for those who have trouble focusing and with learning focusing in school as a result of ADHD and related disorders. This could result in refusal or avoidance.
• Social problems. Bullying towards ADHD children and other social problems can impact a child's willingness to go to school and should be addressed accordingly. 

Learning disabilities, low socioeconomic status, and mental health conditions such as OCD, anxiety, and depression are associated with poor school attendance. Finding out what's bothering your child about school can be a crucial step for parents. 

How to Help Your Child

Children and teens of all ages may struggle with school refusal. About one out of every five high schoolers, for example, are chronically absent. The same is true for just over fourteen percent of middle school students and over thirteen percent of elementary school students. That being said, here are some ways to help your child break the cycle of school avoidance. 

Talk to your child

For the majority of parents, the first step is to talk with their child. Rather than scold them for not wanting to go to school, have an open conversation. Listen to what they share, and be open to all of the possibilities. Do they feel misunderstood by a specific teacher? Does school make them feel sick or anxious? Are there issues with a classmate? Is there a project or subject that they find difficult or even upsetting? If your child struggles in a particular subject, such as math, reading, and working or playing with other kids, consider bringing it up with your child and asking if that is what makes school more challenging, especially if they don't share readily. Express to your child that you want to understand their reasons for disliking or avoiding school so that you can help. When you talk with your child, you can get a better idea as to what to do next.

Communicate the importance of going to school

Let your child know that you will work with them to make school more doable but that it is a non-negotiable part of their life. It's okay if your child's path to education isn't like that of their peers. Of course, this will vary from child to child. Involvement in an after-school activity that your child enjoys, such as sports, theater, art, or a club, could be beneficial for some kids and teens. Not only can it help a child make friends at school, but it can increase self-esteem and give them a reason to want to go to school. 

The more time your child spends away from school, the more challenging it can be to catch up, but it is possible. If they've missed assignments, make it a point to help them catch up sooner rather than later. You can also highlight what your child is good at; for example, if they're a gifted writer or artist, show kindness to others, or excel in sports, take note and verbalize that. 

Speak to your child's school about the issue 

Open communication with your child's school is important because it allows you to work together with school staff to help your child. If they have missed a lot of school, you can work together to build a plan to ease them back in and catch them up. 

Furthermore, if there are specific concerns that prevent your child from wanting to go to school, make them nervous about attending school, and so on, you can bring these up with the school. In some instances, the solution could be simple (e.g., a change in seating arrangements). In others, it'll take more effort, but will still be very possible. A note from your child's pediatrician or another medical or mental health provider, like a therapist, who they work with may be helpful in some cases. For example, in cases where accommodations are needed, where a medical or mental health condition has an impact on schooling, or a child has missed school extensively. 

Address underlying problems

At times, what comes off as truancy or "bad behavior" could have an underlying cause. For example, an undiagnosed learning disability like dyscalculia or dyslexia, bullying, a mental health condition, ADHD symptoms, or feeling misunderstood/having unmet needs at school. Addressing these underlying causes is crucial if it's relevant or could be. 

This might look like testing for a possible learning disability, an adjustment in accommodations or forms of help, an adjustment in accommodations, therapy, or separating a child from bullies. If ADHD symptoms make school more challenging and your child isn't currently receiving treatment, or if you suspect ADHD and they haven't been diagnosed, this could be something to look into. 

Make transitions easier

Especially for younger kids, a common cause of school avoidance is separation anxiety. In fact, it's estimated that somewhere from one to four percent of the pediatric population lives with childhood separation anxiety disorder. In this case, one of the things that can help most is to make transitions easier.

To make transitions from home to school easier for your child, you might familiarize them with the school first, let them know what to expect, and make goodbyes short. Other anxiety disorders, like social anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, or generalized anxiety disorder, can affect school attendance, too. Be mindful of possible anxiety symptoms and find support for your child if you suspect an anxiety disorder.

Takeaway

School avoidance is more prevalent than you might think. There are ways that parents can help children with school refusal or avoidance, such as finding out the root of the problem, speaking with your child's school, and making transitions easier. Some children may benefit from alternative schooling or additional support at school, and that is okay.