Tips For How To Get A Child With ADHD To Listen

Many children fail to listen from time to time. To some degree, this can be a part of childhood development. On the other hand, when a child persistently opposes directions (or seems to), it can cause a host of problems at home or school and worry parents. However, the cause might not always be what you think.

In reality, there are a lot of different reasons why a child could have trouble listening - especially with ADHD, where trouble paying attention is a hallmark symptom. So, what are the potential causes, and how do you combat the problem?

In this article, we'll go over potential reasons your child isn't listening, tips for helping your child improve their listening skills, and when to seek professional support. First, let's talk about how Joon can help your child listen and follow through with tasks.

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How Joon Can Help Your Child Listen

Joon is a to-do app designed for children with ADHD and related disorders. Many parents say that Joon has enhanced their parent-child relationship, and kids love it because it doubles as a game. How does it work?

Parents download the Joon Parent App first and customize a task list for their child. Tasks can include anything you want, such as household chores, bathing, or homework. There's no limit to how many tasks a parent can add. When kids finish their tasks, also called quests, they get rewards in the Joon Pet Game app that allow them to take care of a virtual pet called a Doter. By gamifying routine tasks, Joon promotes motivation in kids, acts as a reward system, and reduces power struggles in the home. 

Joon is backed by professionals such as occupational therapists, teachers, and child psychologists. With a total of more than 3.9k reviews from parents like you, Joon is rated an average of 4.7 out of 5 stars in the app store. Even better, 90% of children who use the app complete all the tasks their parents assign. 

Click here to try Joon for free.

Why Doesn't My Child with ADHD Listen?

The first step to take in combating problems with a child who seems not to listen is to determine the underlying cause. It's imperative that you don't automatically assume that, if a child isn't following directions, it is due to a child's defiance. Though it could be, many children struggle with listening skills for different reasons. Here are some of the most common possibilities among children with ADHD:

You don't have their attention

Getting and keeping a child's attention can be more challenging with ADHD. This does not make your child willfully defiant. Not listening when spoken to directly is a symptom of inattention frequently seen in those with ADHD, and it isn't something that children with ADHD do on purpose. Even if you're directly in front of your child when you speak, you might not have their full attention.

They're confused by the directions

Miscommunication happens to us all. At times, a child may be confused by directions. If directions are not specific and clear, a child's confusion could be mistaken as defiance. Similarly, if there are too many steps or directions are too complex, it is possible that a child could be overwhelmed. With ADHD, the mind quickly moves from one focus point to the next, so be mindful that they may feel a sense of overload.

They're being defiant

Typically, it's ideal not to assume that a child is willfully defiant. At the same time, some children do act defiantly or knowingly break the rules beyond what’s standard for their age group. Knowingly defying others does not make your child a "bad" kid. Instead, it's crucial to explore the reasons behind your child's behavior. Do they need attention? Are they experiencing stress? What about something else?

Consider whether a separate disorder could play a role. For example, some children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) experience Pathological Demand Avoidance or PDA, characterized by an intense need to avoid demands. Not every child with ASD shares the PDA profile, but if they do, caregivers should take a different approach when giving ADHD children directions so that they’re not read as demands.

ASD isn't the only other condition that might be a factor. Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) or Conduct Disorder (CD) may affect some children, and both are more common in kids with ADHD.

They struggle with verbal commands

Some kids make mistakes more readily when directions are given via spoken word. When given directions in another form, such as written word or visuals, the same child may perform better. For some children, this is a matter of learning style and won't necessarily affect their ability to hear what you said accurately. Others could have what is referred to as auditory processing disorder.

Children with auditory processing disorder don't process verbal information the same way. Parents and other individuals in a child's life, such as a child's teacher, may notice signs of auditory processing disorder, such as failure to follow through with verbal commands and asking people to repeat themselves often.

If that sounds like your child, it is worthwhile to consider differences in auditory processing as a potential cause. Auditory processing issues are significantly more prevalent among children with ADHD.

Tips To Improve Your Child's Listening Skills

For those with ADHD, child years can be particularly hard. Feeling misunderstood or frustrated due to ADHD symptoms can be a prominent part of that. Remain mindful and follow these tips to help your child with ADHD improve their listening skills.

Catch their attention first

To help your child listen, make sure you have their attention. If your child is someone who makes eye contact regularly, you might know that they are listening when they look up at you. Checking in with your child to make sure that you have their full attention and asking them to put down potential distractions, even if briefly, can be highly beneficial for a child with ADHD who is easily distracted.

Teach decision-making skills

Although it might seem unrelated, teaching decision-making skills can actually be imperative in helping a child listen to and follow directions. Why is that the case? First, many people experience what is at times called "choice paralysis," and it can be particularly relevant for those with ADHD. When someone's in that state, they feel stuck and as though they can't make a decision. If what you need your child to do requires decision-making, they need to know how to use those skills. Second, when you give your child directions, they have to make the choice to follow those directions or not. Teaching kids how to make decisions and use critical thinking skills can empower them to make the right choice.

Get right to the point

People with ADHD often have a hard time sustaining focus. Once you have your child's attention and know they're listening, get right to the point. That way, they are less likely to lose concentration and more likely to hear what you have to say. 

Avoid large, complicated ideas

Make instructions easy for your child to follow. Here are a couple of ways to reduce complexity when you give your child directions:

• Break up large tasks. To avoid overwhelm, break big tasks into smaller steps. Relay one step at a time so that your child can focus on each step without losing track. This can be particularly necessary when kids are faced with a difficult task.
• Use transition words. If you need to give multi-step directions, use transition words like "then," or "finally."
• Be specific. We all receive information differently, and it is easy to misinterpret instructions. Explain directions clearly and in simple language. Don't leave your child to read between the lines.

Identify whether your child has processed your directions

Do you know if your child has taken in the information you want to convey? It is not something to assume or take for granted. To make sure your child understands, ask them to repeat instructions back to you. That way, you can be sure that your child has processed the directions. Repeat instructions readily and calmly if your child does not understand the first time. Providing directions in a different form can be beneficial in some cases.

Give positive reinforcement

Most kids are more apt to get things done if they know they'll receive positive results. When a child exhibits positive behaviors, let them know that it is appreciated. Encouraging the behavior you want to see through verbal praise is important. When possible, try to give your child praise for behaviors right after they occur.

Many individuals use reward systems for their child in addition to verbal acknowledgment. Experiences (e.g., time to play video games, going to the park), token systems that let kids save up for bigger rewards like movies and concerts, and small objects are all common rewards parents use.

Use discipline 

If a child is actively defiant and makes it known that they hear you but will not follow instructions, negative consequences can be necessary and helpful. Keeping an even tone, explain negative consequences for specific behaviors, and ensure you follow through. Working with a therapist can help you find ways to give effective consequences that work best for your family.

When To Seek Professional Help

If your child continues to struggle with listening, it may be time to reach out for professional support. A medical provider can help you get to the bottom of what's going on and troubleshoot solutions. Parents who suspect their child has trouble hearing or processing verbal information, notice signs of another condition, or see an uptick in unmanaged ADHD symptoms should speak with their child's pediatrician or another trusted healthcare provider to find out what steps to take next. Some children may need a referral to a specialist, a medication adjustment, mental health support, or something else. No matter what, know that you aren't alone in helping your child through this and that it is possible to get to a better place.