Many children with ADHD struggle to complete tasks like chores and homework. And, if you're a parent to one of these children, it may feel like pulling teeth to motivate your child to complete necessary tasks.
Kids and teens with ADHD aren't always motivated by the same incentives as their peers and siblings. In addition to a lack of motivation ADHD symptoms create a lack of focus and confidence that further stall a child with ADHD.
So what can you do as a parent to promote motivation and help your kid with ADHD feel good about themselves and their accomplishments? This article provides tips and strategies that include external motivation and rewards, ways to lead by example, and types of support you can provide your child at home and in school to help them finish necessary work and chores.
How To Motivate ADHD Kids to Finish Their Work
It won't happen overnight, but laying the foundation needed to motivate kids with ADHD starts with some small steps. Whether your kid is school-age or a teen, it is possible to encourage them through rewards, meaningful consequences, and effective communication.
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Praise positive behavior
The most influential thing parents seeking to motivate their child with ADHD can do is provide specific, meaningful praise for behaviors they want to be repeated. A simple "good job" or "thank you" won't cut it for a child with ADHD. When your child finishes a task, offer meaningful praise that lets them know what you liked about their actions and how their effort made you feel
Praise examples for ADHD children:
- Thank you for taking the trash out when I asked. I appreciate it.
- You worked hard to finish your homework; I'm very proud of you.
- You did an excellent job setting the table for dinner; that really helped me out!
- You got all your stuff ready for baseball practice; that shows a lot of responsibility; I'm proud of you.
Avoid using phrases like bad or good behavior as children often internalize those phrases as them being bad or good people. Instead, if a child does something you don't want to be repeated, use a phrase like, "I don't like the choice you just made because..." and mention why it wasn't the best choice.
Lead by example
If you want to raise a child who follows through on tasks, lead by example. Children may not listen to what parents say, but they see our actions. If we do the work we don't enjoy, our kids will see that occasionally everyone has to do things that are not fun.
Teach organizational skills
Kids with ADHD lack natural organizational skills; therefore, parents must teach their children tips to be organized. Use charts, posters, and planners your child can view or write on to keep progress of their activities.
It can motivate kids and teens with ADHD to seek their progress via visual representation.
Timers, playing a game, or music are other ways to help with organization. If your teen spends too long in the shower, create a three-song playlist. They'll soon learn that when they hear a specific song, it's time to finish up and move to the next step in their routine.
Manage large tasks
Kids with ADHD quickly become overwhelmed by large tasks, so they do nothing instead of doing something. This reaction is akin to the fight or fight response. Any motivation they may have had flies out the window once they've become overwhelmed.
Therefore, parents can help their children with larger tasks by breaking them down into smaller pieces. A large homework assignment may need to be divided into smaller sections and completed throughout the afternoon or a week. Talk to your child's teacher about adapting assignments based on their needs and abilities.
Once the task has been divided into smaller chunks, the difficulty level drops, and you can help your child focus on one thing at a time until they've reached success.
Practice calm communication
Easier said than done, but practicing calm communication is essential when dealing with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and kids in general.
No one can learn or listen when yelled at; the body's natural response is to shut down and tune out what is being said, especially for teens.
Adults dealing with stress must find ways to manage stress levels via self-care, talking with friends, getting ample sleep, or taking a break when needed before continuing a tense conversation.
Your ability to stay calm will transfer to your child and promote a more peaceful family and home life.
Establish rules and consequences
It is never too late to establish rules and consequences to promote motivation and defer negative actions. However, the later you start, the more challenging it will become, especially if you wait until your child is a teen. One of the best tips parents can follow is establishing boundaries and expectations when their child is young.
Healthy boundaries are key to a child's development and essential for teens and kids with ADHD who struggle to self-regulate. Of course, you know your child best, so you'll know what guidelines are essential, but you will likely need to establish guidelines on homework time, screen time, housework, and morning and evening routines.
Adults must implement a firm but meaningful consequence when an expectation is unmet. A natural consequence is best. So, if your child fails to finish an assignment, they receive a poor grade. Or if they stay up too late at night, they still get up at their regular time and are tired. If a natural consequence isn't available, apply one related to the situation. So, if your kid doesn't turn off their computer at the appointed time, they lose electronics for 24 hours.
Remember, a consequence doesn't equate to punishment; it results from their actions. A consequence can be a reward too!
Use rewards when applicable
External rewards and reward systems can be used when dealing with specific situations, or goals parents want their children to accomplish. In addition, your child's school likely uses them in the classroom to encourage the class.
Teens and kids will respond differently to different rewards, and parents should create a system based on their child's interests. Some kids might be motivated by earning extra screen time, while teens especially might like the idea of receiving cash.
When using rewards, start small and go big. If your child is struggling to finish their homework on time, then after one week of successfully finishing within the allotted time, they receive a small reward; 15 extra minutes of TV time or $5. In the following cycle, bump it to seven days, then ten, until the reward is no longer needed.
Because kids with ADHD struggle to stay on task and stay motivated, offering a reward after a set number may be more beneficial. So instead of successfully doing the task five days in a row, it would be after doing it five times total.
Takeaway
ADHD often makes it challenging for kids and teens to complete their required work. Whether it be for school or home, adults must help children with ADHD learn essential organizational tactics and the results, both positive and negative, of not completing required work.
Offer plenty of specific praise to your child or teen with ADHD when they've finished a task and lead by example.
ADHD symptoms can put a lot of stress on the family dynamic, especially when dealing with young children and adolescents with ADHD. By teaching your child how to follow through and finish their work successfully, you will set them up for a lifetime of success that will carry on through school and beyond the teen years into adulthood.