How To Teach Your Child with ADHD Self-Control: Try These Strategies

Kids with ADHD are often prone to impulsive behavior. Parents may find that their child interrupts others, has angry or emotional outbursts, defies family rules, engages in impulsive behaviors at school, or enters dangerous situations. Due to the way the ADHD brain works, children may not know why they do what they do or how to stop. However, it is possible to teach impulse control; kids with ADHD may just need more support than other children.

So, if your child has poor impulse control, what can you do? In this article, we'll discuss ways to help your child practice self-control and curb impulsive behavior, such as maintaining clear expectations, noticing patterns, and using physical activity.

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Have Clear Expectations

Children need to understand expectations fully in order to follow them. To set kids up for success, outline household rules in a detailed manner and repeat them often. Be patient as you remind your child of the rules, and help your child understand by explaining why they matter.

Understand Your Child's Behaviors

To improve impulse control in kids with ADHD, it's helpful to understand why a child may act impulsively. Although impulsivity does not only affect people with ADHD, the condition can be a factor. For example, the tendency to blurt things out is an ADHD symptom. 

High emotions or a lack of emotional regulation skills can also lead to impulsive behavior. When your child behaves impulsively, take a moment to talk with your child and calmly ask why they engaged in the behavior. 

Encourage them to share, letting them know that you want to understand. You know that it may be hard to control and want to help them find another way. 

Praise Your Child For Good Behaviors

Positive reinforcement makes a huge difference for children with ADHD. Give your child verbal praise when they exhibit good behavior. Speak in a meaningful way, letting kids know exactly what they did well. For example, "It was really great the way you said 'one moment please' to excuse yourself" or "Thank you for bringing your dishes to the kitchen! That was awesome. I appreciate it."

Discipline Effectively 

When kids have trouble with impulse control, a family may need to put special care into discipline. Here are some tips for disciplining a child with ADHD effectively:

• Explain consequences clearly. Just as rules should be outlined clearly, explain what the consequence will be for a specific behavior.
• Ensure consequences are immediate. If a child behaves in a way you asked them not to, use discipline instantly so that kids internalize the connection between the punishment and behavior.
• Be consistent. Consistent discipline is vital. Make sure that you follow through with what you say you will do.
• Stay calm. Don't waver, but be sure to speak in a gentle tone. 

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Learn from Your Child's Behavior Patterns

Look for patterns in your child's behavior to determine what might be linked to an uptick in problems with impulse control. Do particular events and activities (like school) have an impact? What about sleep, hunger, or lack of physical activity? When you notice a pattern, you might find an underlying issue to address. 

Identify Feelings

Emotional regulation is a struggle for many people with ADHD. A child is more likely to react to emotions with impulsive behavior if they don't know how to discuss and address feelings. For example, kids might hit or kick if they don't have the skills to communicate that they're angry.

To help your child regulate emotions, teach them to identify their feelings. Discuss different emotions and what they feel like. 

When your child is distressed, talk through feelings together and discuss ways to self-regulate. That way, your child can increase awareness and reduce impulsivity.

Consider keeping a feelings wheel at home so that a child can refer to it and pinpoint their emotions with your help as you work on emotional regulation.

Practice Anger Management

Once kids can identify their emotions, it's important that they practice self-regulation. The following skills can work not just for anger, but for other forms of distress, too.

Separate actions from emotions

Talk with your child about how emotions and actions are two different things. It is okay to feel angry, but it is not okay to react in ways that might hurt others (e.g., punching).

Take a break

Teach your child to ask to take a break when they're angry. For both children and adults, one of the most common anger management strategies is to take a break to self-soothe before one reacts.

Deep breaths

Deep breaths soothe the nervous system and reduce both physical and emotional markers of stress, making deep breathing an excellent tool for emotional regulation. Practice breathing exercises together so that you can give your child an example.

Teach Problem-Solving Skills

Practice problem-solving by talking through problems that emerge in your child's life naturally (such as during homework or play time), asking your child to brainstorm options with you. While it may seem unrelated, teaching children how to problem-solve is crucial. If they have practical problem-solving skills, kids will know how to think through possible solutions before they act impulsively.

Encourage Physical Activity 

Make sure that your child has the opportunity to move around and get regular exercise. Alongside other advantages, extensive research shows that physical activity can help children with ADHD improve executive functions and behavior. Active hobbies for kids with ADHD can include team and individual sports, dancing, martial arts, walks, running, or any other activity your child enjoys.

Model The Behavior You Want To See

Children pick up on what their family members do. If you raise your voice or lose control, they might wonder why they can't behave the same way. This is part of why staying calm matters during discipline, but that is not the only time you can set a positive example. You can also help your child by talking through beneficial thought processes aloud as they relate to delayed gratification, emotional regulation, and other examples of self-control. For example, you might say, "I am going to take some deep breaths because I'm feeling overwhelmed," or "I'd love to buy myself those shoes, but I am going to save money for what I really need."

Play Games

A fun way to teach your child impulse control is to play games that require self-restraint. For example, a game that requires kids to wait their turn, like Chess, or follow directions, like "Simon Says." Some of these games can also aid executive functions, making them ideal for kids with ADHD.

Try Behavior Therapy

A combination of behavior therapy, medication, and lifestyle is most often used to treat ADHD. With a therapist, kids can work on various goals, including improvements in impulsive behavior. Professional support may be valuable if the approaches you use at home to teach children self-control don't work.

Takeaway

Poor impulse control can seriously affect a child's life, and it is a prevalent problem for many kids with ADHD. Even so, parents can help children practice impulse control and get to a better place. Use the tips in this article to aid self-control in children, and make sure that you speak to their pediatrician or another medical provider if concerns are severe or do not improve.