How to Tell Your Child About Their ADHD Diagnosis

So your child has received an ADHD diagnosis. Now what? 

For many parents, one of the first questions that come to mind is: “How do I tell my child they have ADHD?” This can be a tricky conversation to have with your kids – but it’s important to have it, as ADHD will affect them for the rest of their lives.

Talking to your child about ADHD as soon as possible can help your child understand themselves better (both their strengths and weaknesses) and learn how to be successful at school and at home.

In this article, I’ll walk you through 10 tips to help you talk to your child about ADHD.

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Tips for How to Talk to Your Child About ADHD

First, let’s go over some do’s and don’ts when having this important conversation with your child. Here are 10 tips to follow.

Have fun with ADHD

Lastly, try to make life with ADHD fun. Lean into their interests, and turn boring tasks into games. The Joon app is a fun way to encourage your child with ADHD to complete their tasks without any nagging necessary.

With the Joon game, your child will be assigned a virtual magical creature to take care of. All you need to do is assign your child with “Quests,” or tasks that you want them to complete in real life. They will need to complete these real-life tasks in order to get their creatures to the next level in the game. 

‍Download the Joon app today to get started.

Pick the appropriate time

It’s not a good idea to talk to your child about ADHD when they’re in the middle of a meltdown or when either of you is feeling emotional or frustrated about how ADHD affects them.

Instead, pick an appropriate time when you can sit down together uninterrupted. ADHD makes kids easily distracted, so pick a quiet place, and try to avoid times when your child is feeling antsy to do something else.

Choosing the time for the conversation wisely can help ensure that your child is able to listen to and process the information you’re telling them.

Answer questions

Your child may have a lot of questions about ADHD after you tell them about their diagnosis. Try not to get frustrated, and answer their questions honestly. Don’t feel like you need to sugarcoat the information, but also don’t focus only on the negative aspects of ADHD. ADHD comes with both challenges and benefits.

After you’ve finished explaining, invite questions intentionally. Ask your child what questions they have, and look up the answer together for things you don’t know.

Don’t define your child as “ADHD”

Be very careful about the language you use when talking to your child about ADHD. Remember that ADHD is part of who your child is, but it doesn’t define them. They are still the same child, with the same personality and interests, as they were before they were diagnosed.

For example, don’t say, “You are an ADHD kid.” But also don’t say, “You have a disorder called ADHD” – this can be frightening to children and make them feel like they are diseased. Instead, try: “ADHD is part of who you are, but not all of who you are.”

Talk about strengths

Don’t focus only on the hardships that your child may face as a result of ADHD. ADHD has very real benefits, too, and you shouldn’t leave these out when you’re explaining ADHD to your child.

For example, you might mention that ADHD helps them have a lot of energy or think of creative solutions to problems. Sometimes, they might have too much energy, but you and their treatment team will help them to learn how to manage their brain.

Make sure to stress to your child that they can still be successful with ADHD.

Don’t shame them

Be careful of language that may make your child feel ashamed. For example, avoid saying things like, “You’re going to have to work a whole lot harder than normal kids,” or, “You’re just not normal.”

Make sure your child understands that ADHD is not a flaw, nor does it mean that they’re less intelligent than neurotypical children.

Avoid only blaming the “negative” things on ADHD. For example, don’t say, “ADHD is the reason why you do so poorly, can't focus at school and never listen to me when I’m talking to you.” Again, include strengths, too.

Help them feel less alone

If you or your child’s other parent also has ADHD, it may be a good idea to let your child know so they feel less alone. Don’t make the conversation about you, and understand that your child’s experience with ADHD may be different from yours – but letting them know may help them feel less isolated.

If you don’t know anyone else with ADHD, tell your child about other famous and successful people with ADHD – like Walt Disney or actress Emma Watson.

Likewise, let them know that you will walk with them on this journey.

Learn all you can about ADHD

To be able to explain ADHD correctly to your child, it’s important that you’re equipped with the facts. Before you explain ADHD to your child, learn abut the facts and the science. 

Your child’s diagnosing specialist may also be able to teach you about how ADHD works. They may also have good advice for you on how you can explain ADHD to your child.

Use books

If you feel stuck on how to explain ADHD to your child in a developmentally appropriate way, there are lots of books that can help.

Here are some titles recommended by CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder):

• Learning to Slow Down and Pay Attention: A Book for Kids with ADHD by Kathleen Nadeau and Ellen Dixon
• Cory Stories: A Kid’s Book About Living With ADHD by Jeanne Kraus
• Attention, Girls!: A Guide to Learn All About Your ADHD by Patricia Quinn 

Continue having conversations

Understand that your child may not express very much interest in their ADHD diagnosis during the first conversation – and that’s okay! The conversation about ADHD and how it affects your child should be ongoing. It’s likely that they’ll have questions later on, and you should be prepared to answer them.

When ADHD affects them at school or at home, point it out. Don’t scold them for behaviors outside of their control, but work with them in order to learn new ways to manage these behaviors.